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The Walking Dead, Book One

2010Robert Kirkman

2.4/5

Book One is apparently volumes 1 & 2, but even though I've already read and reviewed the first one, I still ended up reading most* of it again as a refresher. *In other words, I skimmed the first few pages, realized I'd forgotten all of the plot details, and started reading in earnest immediately.Stop judging me, Rick!Since I'm somewhat late to The Walking Dead phenomenon (Kelly has theorized that I'm some sort of ALIEN goddess from the stars), I'm going to try not to spoil anything for the other people from my planet. Planet Anne! I like the sound of that! It can be a safe haven for all the sad little geriatric aliens in the multiverse. You know, the ones who don't get pop culture references, and still need help figuring out the difference between Twitter and Tumbler. Wait. It's \ Tumblr?!\ So they spelled it wrong on purpose? Whyyyyyyyy?! Why do you people wanna screw with me like this?I've only recently mastered the art of LOLing properly!For years, I thought it was some odd sound people made when they laughed. Yes. Really. I mean, I have an obnoxious laugh, so I just assumed others did as well...Whatever, I can now LOL at things just like the kids!Unfortunately, I still can't Twit, and I have no idea how to Tumble. Baby steps, baby steps...Um, ok. What was my original point? Crap. No idea.Oh, yes! The Walking Dead! Now, I've mentioned this before, but I simply LOVE that the zombies in this series are of the shuffle-shuffle variety, and not the zoom-zoom class. You have to be totally surprised by one of these suckers in order for it to get it's undead jaws on you. All that's required of these characters to survive is to avoid dark alleys, creepy basements, thickly wooded areas, and nutters who keep pet zombies in their barns hoarder-style. I firmly believe that if the Zombie Apocalypse happens, and these are what I'm faced with, I could speed-walk my way to safety. Me + Snazzy Shorts = Escaping Like A Boss!The point is ( there really is a point this time!), the real monsters in The Walking Dead aren't the zombies. The surviving humans are far more monstrous than any of the rotting corpses. You would think that if humanity was on the brink of extinction, we'd all band together like extras in a Coca Cola commercial, right? (view spoiler)[Of course, you do realize that pop-pop-fizz-fizz sound that it makes when you open it, is indicative to what it does to your insides...Ahhhh! Refreshing! (hide spoiler)]

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