Books like The Invisible Man

This is the story of how one angry, naked, sneezing albino managed to terrorize the English countryside. To be quite honest, I expected a bit more from the people who fended off the Nazis for years. But Wells seemed to think his fellow countrymen would be a bit too inept to toss a sheet over this shivering bastard and punch him in the throat. Instead?This:Attention:1) There may be spoilers for this 100+ year old book in the review.2) Only comment if you have a WORKING sense of humor.3) Seriously. Read # 2 again before you correct my review.When I first started reading, I assumed that The Invisible Man would be about a guy who was slowly driven mad by this unusual condition.Nope.He was a world class douchebag long before embarking on his experiment to become see-through. Although, if I had to point out one major difference between his beginning vs. his end? Well, I'm guessing his dick & balls hadn't permanently retreated into his body before he became the World's Meanest Nudist. Really, dude? Really? Winter is not kind to naked folks. As every Mad Scientist will tell you, you've got to plan ahead. Mother Nature will not bend to your nefarious whims! Turn on the Weather Channel next time, moron.So, Griffin (that's the Invisible Man's name) discovers a magic not magic formula that allows his molecules to have fewer surfaces for light to refract off, and if he combines that with electrocuting not electrocuting himself with some sort of a radio wave contraption, he will become invisible.Pseudo-science, FTW! He tested it out on a cat, and it sorta worked. Except for the cat's eyes. Don't worry, though. The cat is fine! Kidding it's totally dead.One thing I found interesting was that until his body absorbed food, it remained visible. Which led me to spend quite a bit of my afternoon thinking about whether or not you could see his poop moving through his intestines. And if it did remain visible, that meant his Kryptonite could quite literally be cheese! Think about it, people. You could track him if he's constipated!Ha! I'll bet those assholes at MENSA are totally rethinking that rejection letter now.Yeah, so all they had to do was get a big cauldron (or Fry-Daddy) bubbling with oil, and then cook up a shit ton of mozzarella sticks. If placed strategically around the village, they could have had Griffin backed up and praying for prunes in no time. Between the groaning and visibly distended intestines, it would have been Problem Solved within two days. BOOM!Ok, so Wells does his dead-level best to make invisibility seem like a curse, but the reality was this was an AWESOME power. He's fucking invisible!The only reason Griffin wasn't immediately the richest man in the kingdom was due to his a-hole personality. All he had to do was tell people about his amazing discovery! Instead, he shoots himself in the dick trying to keep it a secret. Sure, the people in that first hillbilly town might not have been receptive. At least, not at first, anyway...Witchcraft! Kill it with fire, Cletus!But show up at a Science Fair (or wherever smart people hang out), and he would have been carried off on his peers' weak & nerdy shoulders!I mean, his buddy Kemp was thoroughly impressed...until he started voluntarily boasting about his somewhat ill-thought-out crimes, and revealing his idiotic plans for world domination. Which, by the way, was the least well-planned villain plot...ever...in the history of badly planned villain plots! Terror? A reign of \ terror\ ? That's it?! What's the endgame, Griffin?Give me all your money! Or Terror!Make me king of the world! Or Terror!WTF, man? I think you're overestimating yourself a bit there...Sure, it's a bit spooky that you can't be seen, but, eventually, even the stupidest of villagers will band together & figure out that you can be taken down by a dog with a good nose...or cheese!Which is pretty much what happens.Except for the part about cheese. If only they had consulted someone with my level of genius intellect, poor Adye would still be alive. Tsk.He stupidly tries to implement his Reign of Terror, and manages to get a few good shots in, but eventually becomes the recipient of the ass beating of a lifetime.Moral of the story: Even if you're a genius, don't be a dick.You will inevitably freeze your balls off, catch a nasty cold, and end up bludgeoned to death by people with half your intellect. Because all us stupid people know how to wield sticks, goddammit!Buddy Read with Jeff, Delee, Evgeny, Tadiana, Stepheny, Will (be gentle it's his first time), Dan (he found a free copy!), Dan 2.0 (if he can remember his password), Alissa, Christopher, Steve, Jess, Licha, MIRIAM (because she can't quit us!), Jenna, (latecomer) Auntie J, Ginger & Carmen (cutting it a little close there, Carmen!). Honorary Buddy-Reader: Karly *The Vampire Ninja & Lumi...Lumin...Sparkly Monster*We gotta do this again, guys!