Things is a 1989 Canadian independent direct-to-video horror film, directed by Andrew Jordan and written by Jordan and Barry J. Gillis. The film is considered one of the worst films of all time.

Don and Fred decide to visit the house of Doug, Don's brother. They're unaware that Doug and his wife Susan have been participating in wild experiments in order to have a child. While they're looking for some beer the two men discover a book written by Aleister Crowley and a tape recorder, which plays strange sounds. Hearing the tape, Doug storms in and scolds them before joining them in their drinking. Meanwhile Susan gives birth to bizarre creatures before dying. These creatures then infest the house and attack the men. Fred disappears, leaving Don and Doug to fight the creatures. Don accidentally kills Doug while trying to hit a creature on his back; he is later shown revived, baffling Don before disappearing. Doug briefly re-appears with a chainsaw before also disappearing. Don runs into the doctor who was conducting the experiments on Susan, who accuses him of murdering everyone. Don seemingly manages to escape the house. The film ends with the note "You have just experienced Things".

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