books

"That voice in your head is describing what you're about to do after a different part of your brain has already initiated that action.""Your body decides, the voice in your brain narrates."I read that passage once, twice, three times, and then lay the book on my chest and closed my eyes.Holy shit. Hooooooolllllllllly shit. Is it really that easy? Sure, I always THINK I'm right when responding to others — often, I'm proven true, which is great and flattering and makes me feel useful — but I second guess every damn thought and action I even consider making.But those quotes...if those quotes above are true, everything is different.I know what I want to do. Making decisions isn't the issue, it's sticking by them once the voice in my head has had a chance to be critical.I'm not saying your gut is always correct, but it sure as hell thinks it is. Why not trust it for myself as much as I trust it for others?

You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It’s a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams. How good are you at knowing the minds of others? How well can you guess what others think of you, know who really likes you, or tell when someone is lying? How well do you really understand the minds of those closest to you, from your spouse to your kids to your best friends? Do you really know what your coworkers, employees, competitors, or clients want?In this illuminating exploration of one of the great mysteries of the human mind, University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make. Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others, treating them like objects or animals? Why do we sometimes talk to our cars, or the stars, as if there is a mind that can hear us? Why do we so routinely believe that others think, feel, and want what we do when, in fact, they do not? And why do we believe we understand our spouses, family, and friends so much better than we actually do? Mindwise will not turn other people into open books, but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself. 

Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour.Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.

Two neuroscience experts explain how their 4-Step Method can help break destructive thoughts and actions and change bad habits for good. A leading neuroplasticity researcher and the coauthor of the groundbreaking books Brain Lock and The Mind and the Brain, Jeffrey M. Schwartz has spent his career studying the structure and neuronal firing patterns of the human brain. He pioneered the first mindfulness-based treatment program for people suffering from OCD, teaching patients how to achieve long-term relief from their compulsions. For the past six years, Schwartz has worked with psychiatrist Rebecca Gladding to refine a program that successfully explains how the brain works and why we often feel besieged by bad brain wiring. Just like with the compulsions of OCD patients, they discovered that bad habits, social anxieties, self-deprecating thoughts, and compulsive overindulgence are all rooted in overactive brain circuits. The key to making life changes that you want-to make your brain work for you-is to consciously choose to "starve" these circuits of focused attention, thereby decreasing their influence and strength. As evidenced by the huge success of Schwartz's previous books, as well as Daniel Amen's Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, and Norman Doidge's The Brain That Changes Itself, there is a large audience interested in harnessing the brain's untapped potential, yearning for a step-by-step, scientifically grounded and clinically proven approach. In fact, readers of Brain Lock wrote to the authors in record numbers asking for such a book. In You Are Not Your Brain, Schwartz and Gladding carefully outline their program, showing readers how to identify negative brain impulses, channel them through the power of focused attention, and ultimately lead more fulfilling and empowered lives.

In the rush of modern life, we tend to lose touch with the peace that is available in each moment. World-renowned Zen master, spiritual leader, and author Thich Nhat Hanh shows us how to make positive use of the very situations that usually pressure and antagonize us. For him a ringing telephone can be a signal to call us back to our true selves. Dirty dishes, red lights, and traffic jams are spiritual friends on the path to "mindfulness"—the process of keeping our consciousness alive to our present experience and reality. The most profound satisfactions, the deepest feelings of joy and completeness lie as close at hand as our next aware breath and the smile we can form right now.Lucidly and beautifully written, Peace Is Every Step contains commentaries and meditations, personal anecdotes and stories from Nhat Hanh's experiences as a peace activist, teacher, and community leader. It begins where the reader already is—in the kitchen, office, driving a car, walking a part—and shows how deep meditative presence is available now. Nhat Hanh provides exercises to increase our awareness of our own body and mind through conscious breathing, which can bring immediate joy and peace. Nhat Hanh also shows how to be aware of relationships with others and of the world around us, its beauty and also its pollution and injustices. the deceptively simple practices of Peace Is Every Step encourage the reader to work for peace in the world as he or she continues to work on sustaining inner peace by turning the "mindless" into the mindFUL.

Rejection Proof is Jia Jiang's entertaining and inspiring account of conquering his fear of rejection, offering a completely new perspective on how to turn a no into a yes.Jia Jiang came to the United States with the dream of being the next Bill Gates. Despite early success in the corporate world, his first attempt to pursue his entrepreneurial dream ended in rejection. Jia was crushed and spiraled into a period of deep self-doubt. But he realized that his fear of rejection was a bigger obstacle than any single rejection would ever be, and he needed to find a way to cope with being told no without letting it destroy him. Thus was born his "100 days of rejection" experiment, during which he willfully sought rejection on a daily basis - from requesting a lesson in sales from a car salesman (no) to asking a flight attendant if he could make an announcement on the loudspeaker (yes) to his famous request to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the shape of Olympic rings (yes, with a viral video to prove it).Jia learned that even the most preposterous wish may be granted if you ask in the right way, and here he shares the secret of successful asking, how to pick targets, and how to tell when an initial no can be converted into something positive. But more important, he learned techniques for steeling himself against rejection and ways to develop his own confidence - a plan that can't be derailed by a single setback.Filled with great stories and valuable insight, Rejection Proof is a fun and thoughtful examination of how to overcome fear and dare to live more boldly.

Why is it easier to ruminate over hurt feelings than it is to bask in the warmth of being appreciated? Because your brain evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences but slowly from the good ones. You can change this. Hardwiring Happiness lays out a simple method that uses the hidden power of everyday experiences to build new neural structures full of happiness, love, confidence, and peace. Dr. Hanson's four steps build strengths into your brain-- balancing its ancient negativity bias--making contentment and a powerful sense of resilience the new normal. In mere minutes each day, we can transform our brains into refuges and power centers of calm and happiness.

A leading neuroscientist and pioneer in the study of mindfulness explains why addictions are so tenacious and how we can learn to conquer them We are all vulnerable to addiction. Whether it's a compulsion to constantly check social media, binge eating, smoking, excessive drinking, or any other behaviors, we may find ourselves uncontrollably repeating. Why are bad habits so hard to overcome? Is there a key to conquering the cravings we know are unhealthy for us? This book provides groundbreaking answers to the most important questions about addiction. Dr. Judson Brewer, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist who has studied the science of addictions for twenty years, reveals how we can tap into the very processes that encourage addictive behaviors in order to step out of them. He describes the mechanisms of habit and addiction formation, then explains how the practice of mindfulness can interrupt these habits. Weaving together patient stories, his own experience with mindfulness practice, and current scientific findings from his own lab and others, Dr. Brewer offers a path for moving beyond our cravings, reducing stress, and ultimately living a fuller life.

Although I have always joked with my students that I must be borderline ADD, I would never have diagnosed myself as actually suffering from the disorder. I even fostered a child with ADHD, diagnosed and medicated, such that I was aware of the problem, but never thought that I really had the condition. Even when I started reading Driven to Distraction, I was reading it to become more familiar with what someone else was going through (actually, what several people I know and care about were going through) than reading it for myself. One of those people had said, "I think you have ADD yourself" and gave me this book. But I still thought I was reading for someone else.Yet, as I read the case studies, I began to think this psychiatrist had been "reading my mail." I was brought to tears on several occasions as the patients expressed feelings with which I had lived my entire life and accused themselves of the same psychological crimes that I had accused myself of whenever I stopped long enough to evaluate my life. They perceived themselves as lazy, undisciplined, irresponsible, and undependable--all charges leveled against myself by myself, all charges that occasionally lay me mentally low into nasty, inexplicable depression. Even at those low points, I blamed myself. I accused myself of self-indulgence and diagnosed myself as lacking in spiritual faith.And then, I read this list:Diagnostic Criteria for Adult ADD1) sense of underachievement2) difficulty getting organized3) chronic procrastination4) too many projects – trouble with follow-through (p. 73)5) saying what one thinks without self-censorship 6) frequent search for high stimulation 7) intolerance of boredom8) easy distractibility, focus problems9) often creative, intelligent 10) trouble with PROCESS – established procedures (p. 74)11) impatient, low tolerance for frustration (p. 75)12) impulsive, both verbally and actively13) worries needlessly14) insecure15) mood swings16) restlessness (p. 75)17) tendency toward addictive behavior (p. 76)18) chronic self-esteem problems19) inaccurate self-observation20) family history of ADD. I had to answer "Yes" to 19 of the 20.A few pages later, he described a successful, but unhappy professional as having a study littered with piles. Had he been peeking at my study and my basement work space? “So many adults with ADD have piles, little mess-piles, big mess-piles, piles everywhere. They are like a by-product of the brain’s work.” (p. 80) Yet a few pages later was a description of a minister who described a cloud—a feeling that her personal world was about to collapse “Sort of like a cartoon character who’s run out over the cliff and his legs are still pumping, but he’s only standing on air and he’s about to fall a long, long way down. … I ascribe my success to the grace of God, but I’m still left with this feeling that it could all be taken away.” (p. 83) How often have I been there?I always feel like I've wasted opportunities, blown chances, irresponsibly cadged together inadequate work just before deadlines, and more. I've always blamed myself. And now, I realize that there is a reason. In fact, not only is there a reason, but there is much that can be done about it. The best part of this book is that it isn't trying to pre-diagnose people and pre-dispose them toward medication. Most of the book is about what can be done without medication. That's a relief to me. Approaching 61, I realize that it's probably too late for me to do more than live with the problem. However, it was also nice to realize that some of what I've done that works for me is what this psychiatrist (who also suffers from the disorder) recommends.1) Support group2) Rid self of negativity (largely self-imposed) (p. 98)3) Use lists, reminders, files, rituals as structure4) Use O.H.I.O. (only handle it once) for paperwork 5) Make deadlines6) Do what you’re good at, instead of spending all of your time trying to get good at what you’re bad at7) Understand mood changes and how to manage8) EXPECT depression after success9) Learn to advocate for yourself10) Learn to joke with yourself and others about your symptoms (p. 99)[NOTE: This is the short list. He offers 50 tips on pp. 245-253 from which I've chosen other methods to work with my problem.]I also appreciate his quick mnemonic of tips for coaches/therapists working with ADD sufferers:Tips for the Coach:H – Help – Ask the person you are coaching, what kind of help do you need?O – Obligations – Ask specifically what obligations are upcoming and what the person is doing to prepare for them (If you don’t ask, the individual may forget to tell you.)P – Plans – Ask about ongoing plans. It is very helpful to remind people with ADD of their goals.E – Encouragement – The most fun part of the coach’s job is to be affirmative in this battle against chaos and negativity (p. 227). He also notes that the coach/therapist may have to act as a “distraction censor” (p. 230).This book is informative, helpful, and, for me, timely. I look forward to reading his updated version, Deliverance from Distraction and implementing some of these ideas.

Update your thinking and avoid complacency with the 12 week yearAre you ready to change your life? This full-color, hands-on template for implementing advice from the game-changing book The 12 Week Year is a study guide that makes it easy for anyone to apply the 12 week year to their own lives. Instead of getting bogged down in annualized thinking that produces pitfalls and saps productivity, follow along with this guide to redefine your "year" to be just 12 weeks long. By doing so, you'll avoid complacency, begin to focus on what matters most, create better clarity, and develop a sense of urgency so that "now" is always the right time to act.Applicable to business growth, career goals, and life in general, the 12 week plan will help you improve in any--or every--area. By closing the "knowing-doing gap," you'll discover how to execute on what you already know and greatly expand the boundaries of your capabilities. Learn to:Create your personal and business visions with step-by-step tips Develop your own 12 week plan by applying what you know to what you do Put over 10 years of field-tested content, exercises, and templates to work for you Build a 12 week commitment and apply the system to your own life and business Take back your life, improve your thinking, and advance your business or career by implementing real-world, hands-on methods in The 12 Week Year Study Guide.

Level Up Your Life uses the principles of video games, movies, television, comic books, and pop culture to teach you how to transform your life in extraordinary ways and collect real-world experiences that are just as amazing and fulfilling as the adventures of comic book heroes and video game characters. Learn how to design your own personal Epic Quest of Awesome through advice on health, fitness, travel, and finance.Author Steven Kamb, the founder/creator of NerdFitness.com, leads you on a journey to discover the kind of game you want to play, including how to:* Develop a leveling structure* Create a personal Origin Story (every hero has a great origin story)* Determine what your Level 50 character will look like* Build your own quest lists * Hack your productivity, habits, and willpower to build momentum* Build in rewards and accountability* Add members to your party, expanding your community* Find your own personal Yoda or Morpheus (i.e. mentor) to help you along the way* Restart and earn Extra Lives (how to keep going when you get scared or stuck)

The corporate "yes man," the wife-beater, the hot-shot male junior executive and the emotionally distant father are all boys pretending to be men, observe the authors of this liberating guide to self-transformation. Writing within a Jungian framework, they perceive symptoms of "Boycaps per book psychology" all around us--in men's abusive behaviors, passivity and inability to act creatively. To help males become more nurturing and mature, Moore and Gillette identify four archetypes of masculine energies from myth and literature: the Lover, brimming with vitality and sensitivity; the Magician, guider of the processes of inner and outer transformation; the selfless and wise King identified with Adam or primordial man; and the Warrior, whose energies often go awry in destructive activity. Dream analysis, meditation, Jungian "active imagination" and ritual processes are among the tools set forth in a clear, concise map to territories of masculine selfhood.

The next step for applying the life-changing lessons of the bestseller Start With Why. With Start With Why, Simon Sinek inspired a movement to build a world in which the vast majority of us can feel safe while we are at work and fulfilled when we go home at night. However, many people have had trouble bringing the book's message into their own career and company. Now, along with two of his colleagues, Peter Docker and David Mead, he has created a guide to the most important step any business can take: finding your why. This easy-to-follow guide starts with the search for your personal why, and then expands to helping your colleagues find your organization's why. With detailed instructions on every stage in the process, the book also answer common concerns, such as: What if my why sounds like my competitor's? Can you have more than one why? And, if my work doesn't match my why, what do I do? Whether you're entry level or a CEO, whether your team is run by the founder or a recent hire, these simple steps will lead you on a path to a more fulfilling life and longterm success for you and your colleagues.

When high speed internet became widely available a few years ago, growing numbers of people began to worry that their porn use was running out of control. Far from preparing them for fulfilling relationships, viewing an endless stream of porn videos led to unexpected symptoms. Perhaps most surprisingly, for the first time in history erectile dysfunction was becoming a significant problem for young men. This led to one of the largest informal experiments in the history of science. Tens of thousands of people have tried abstaining from sexually stimulating material in a process they call 'rebooting'. Many of them reported startling changes, from improved concentration and elevated mood to a greater capacity for real-life intimacy. Gary Wilson has listened to the stories of those who have tried giving up internet porn and related them to an account of how the reward system of the brain interacts with its environment. And now a growing body of research in neuroscience is confirming what these pioneers have discovered for themselves - internet pornography can be seriously addictive and damaging. In Your Brain on Porn Wilson provides a concise introduction to the phenomenon of internet porn addiction that draws on both first-person accounts and the findings of cognitive neuroscience. In a voice that is generous and humane, he also offers advice for those who want to stop using internet pornography. The publication of Your Brain on Porn is a landmark in our attempts to understand, and remain balanced in, a world where addiction is big business.

From one of the pioneers of the scientific study of happiness, an indispensable guide to living your best life.What makes a good life? Is it money? An important job? Leisure time? Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi believes our obsessive focus on such measures has led us astray. Work fills our days with anxiety and pressure, so that during our free time, we tend to live in boredom, watching TV or absorbed by our phones.What are we missing? To answer this question, Csikszentmihalyi studied thousands of people, and he found the key. People are happiest when they challenge themselves with tasks that demand a high degree of skill and commitment, and which are undertaken for their own sake. Instead of watching television, play the piano. Take a routine chore and figure out how to do it better, faster, more efficiently. In short, learn the hidden power of complete engagement, a psychological state the author calls flow. Though they appear simple, the lessons in Finding Flow are life-changing.

Why do we often feel cut off when speaking to the people closest to us family members, friends, or colleagues? What is it that keeps so many of us from really listening? Michael P. Nichols answers these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons people don't hear one another. His book, a guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how empathic listening enables us to break through misunderstandings and conflict and to transform our personal and professional relationships.

The author of Hero With a Thousand Faces, The Masks of God series, and The Power of Myth here turns his powers of observation and analysis on his own life's journey and conveys the excitement of his life-long exploration of mythic traditions, which he called "the one great story of mankind." In conversations with poets, anthropologists, and philosophers, Campbell reflects on subjects ranging from the origins and functions of myth, the role of the artist and the need for ritual, to the ordeals of love and romance. Illustrated throughout with photographs from Joseph Campbell's family archive and with a new, revised introduction, The Hero's Journey introduces the reader first-hand to Joseph Campbell the man, his discoveries, his terminology, and his thinking.

Have you ever wished you could reprogram your brain, just as a hacker would a computer? In this 3-step guide to improving your mental habits—using plenty of clear “computer-related terms should resonate with tech-savvy readers, including those resistant to typical self-help fare” (Publishers Weekly)— learn to take charge of your mind and banish negative thoughts, habits, and anxiety—in just twenty-one days!A seasoned author, comedian, and entrepreneur, Sir John Hargrave once suffered from unhealthy addictions, anxiety, and poor mental health. After cracking the code to unlocking his mind’s full and balanced potential, his entire life changed for the better. In Mind Hacking, Hargrave reveals the formula that allowed him to overcome negativity and eliminate mental problems at their core. Through a 21-day, 3-step training program, this book lays out a simple yet comprehensive approach to help you rewire your brain and achieve healthier thought patterns for a better quality of life. It hinges on the repetitive steps of analyzing, imagining, and reprogramming to help break down barriers preventing you from reaching your highest potential. By treating your brain as a computer and mastering Hargrave’s mind hacking formula, you, too, can create a positive, permanent shift in your thinking, leading to personal and professional triumphs in all areas of life.