Comedy

An unlucky meter reader enrolls in a confidence-building class so he can win the love of the girl of his dreams. The class turns out to be something quite different when it becomes clear to the young man that his professor has his sights set on the same girl.

David Walsh's day spirals from bad to worse when he gets fired from his dream job at the bank and is dumped by his fiancée, Sara. His best friend Jack tries to convince him it's for the best, but the opposite occurs when bank robberies and millions of dollars become part of his day from hell.

On the last night of the fiscal quarter, Dennis, Shenanigan's manager, will be promoted to district manager if they have a $9000 day. To motivate the crew, he tells them the restaurant will close if they don't meet this goal. His competition is next door: Ta-Ta's, a bar with scantily clad waitresses, managed by the newly self-confident Calvin. At Ta-Ta's, it's Allison's first day; she's nervous. At Shenanigan's, Mason, a cook, is trying his best to be cool, without success. As the shift wears on, each employee faces his worst fears, and Dennis tries to learn how to attract women. Next door, Calvin and Allison make self discoveries. It all ends at the post-shift party.

Bob and Walt Tenor are twin brothers, who not only share a passion for life, but also a liver. Thanks to their teamwork, being conjoined twins is not a handicap to them. But, when Walt's dreams of stardom of acting on the screen and Bob's shyness clashes, they both begin to fall out. This doesn't help when Bob's Internet girl arrives in town, unaware of their handicap, and when Walt gains his own TV show with Cher.

It's the dinner shift at Shenanigan's. Dan, the clueless boss, assigns Mitch, 22, a trainee, to Monty, the smooth talker who chases girls for one-night stands. Dean, a waiter, also 22, feels that life is passing him by. Dan offers him the assistant manager job and gives him until midnight to decide. Other waiters, cooks, and bus boys have their issues and personalities. Bishop, the dishwasher, is their counselor. During this shift, Monty may learn something, Dean makes his decision, Dan makes a play for the not-yet-18 hostess, customers get their comeuppance, the guys all play the in-house homophobic flashing game, the gals demonstrate why they won't, and Mitch gets the last word.

After being rejected from every college he applied, Bartleby Gaines decided to create a fictitious university, South Harmon Institute of Technology, with his friends, to fool their parents. But when their deception works too well and every other college rejects starts to apply to his school, B. must find a way to give the education and future his students and friends deserves, including his own, while trying to win the heart of the girl next door.

Andy Sargentee is a decent guy and the town's favorite failure: an unemployable dreamer whose ex's husband's wealth intimidates Andy to such an extent he does little with his teen son. Andy's new idea is for Butterface Fields to be the first town to band together to make the first full-length feature amateur adult film. He recruits five regulars at Floyd's Bar to contribute $2000 each. They get the kid at the video store, whose camcorder is constantly on, to be the cinematographer. The pal they all call "Some Idiot" volunteers to be writer-director. Otis becomes producer. Now, can they find actors, and especially, women? Can a pornography project give Andy self-respect?

Shaun Brumder is a local surfer kid from Orange County who dreams of going to Stanford to become a writer and to get away from his disfunctional family household. Except Shaun runs into one complication after another starting when his application is rejected after his dim-witted guidance counselor sends the wrong application. So, Shaun goes to great lengths with a little help from his girlfriend Ashley and his drugged-out loser brother Lance to get into Stanford any way they see fit.

After being falsely accused of stealing the budget for their annual cocktail cruise, three very different fraternity brothers are kicked out of their dorm. In order to clear their name and to secure their future careers, the three dress up in drag and pledge the sorority next door where they learn a few valuable - and hilarious - lessons about themselves and the female species.

We watch the Onion News, America's Finest News Source, with Dana Dobbs, Senior Correspondent Kip Kendall, and award-winning anchor Norm Archer. In addition to watching the news, we see the program's commercials, some commentary on the film as it proceeds, and we watch some terrorists in training. Behind the scenes, Onion News's corporate owner, Global Tetrahedron, seeks synergy by promoting its other products within Norm's news broadcast. Norm doesn't like it, especially when a toy penguin (think Energizer Bunny) waddles across his desk promoting a Global Tetrahedron film starring Steven Seagal. But Norm may end up needing Steven's help.

Set in the world of New York City's elite private kindergartens, THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST centers on a fresh-faced young couple, Samantha and Jeff, who have only recently moved into town. The comedy centers on their dawning realization of the lengths they must go to in order to get their five-year-old daughter into school.

At 33, Doug Stauber is ready for a promotion. He's married, wants to buy a house, and is assistant manager at a Chicago supermarket that's building a new store in his neighborhood. His boss tells him he's a shoo-in to manage the new store, then, a rival appears - Richard Wehlner, transferred from Canada. Richard has a deeper resume than Doug, is really nice, has a wife and daughter, and wants the promotion to manager too. How should Doug behave toward Richard - as a friend, a colleague, a competitor, or an enemy? Richard, it seems, has demons and a past, but with the help of motivational tapes, he's resolved to succeed. Corporate and personal tests await the two men.

Danny and Wheeler, well into their 30s, lack something: Danny feels stuck; he's sour and has driven away his terrific girlfriend. Wheeler chases any skirt he sees for empty sex. When they get in a fight with a tow-truck driver, they choose community service over jail and are assigned to be big brothers - Danny to Augie, a geek who loves to LARP (Live Action Role Play), and Wheeler to Ronnie, a pint-size foul-mouthed kid. After a rocky start, things start to go well until both Danny and Wheeler make big mistakes. Can the two men figure out how to change enough to be role models to the boys?

While other kids buy into countless hours of studying just so they can get a mark in some teacher's report book, Handsome Davis sees it as nothing more than a system of control over your mind. That's why Handsome and his three best friends Sammy, Victor and the cribsheet genius Applebee have banded together and found ways to cheat on their tests all through their school years. Everything had been going along smoothly until the gang entered their final year of high school and the stakes were upped by the school's principal, Mrs. Stark. If they get caught cheating again Stark will make a note in their permanent records and possibly kill their chances of getting into college. But can Handsome convince his pals to pull off one last, great cheat with him and outsmarting Stark and the system, even if it means possibly destroying their friendships?

Mel Coplin departs on a mission of discovery dragging his wife and 4 month old son behind. He and wife, Nancy, won't agree on a name for their son until adopted Mel gets in touch with his roots. He assures her that once he knows who he really is, the right name for their boy will be a snap. Enlisting the aid of student-psychologist and part-time adoption agent, Tina Kalb, they embark on a journey across the United States to find Mel's "birth" mother. "The best part," Mel tells Nancy, "is it's all free." Tina is finishing her dissertation and will film the happy reunion of mother and child as part of her research. For this privilege, she's footing the bill. His adoptive parents are left behind feeling abandoned by an ungrateful son. Clerical errors, mistaken identities, Nancy's misplaced high school friend and his gay lover, and a super-charged libido here and there are thrown into the mix along the way until -- at last -- Mel's real parents, the Schlictings (mispronounced as "Shit-kings" by Mrs. Coplin), are discovered in remote New Mexico. There, Mel begins to wonder if he would have been better off not knowing these people, after all.

Two cousins and friends, Richie and Evan, go to Atlantic City to gamble. Richie loses all he has at slot machines and asks Evan for two more coins for a last attempt. That last attempt brings a $400,000 jackpot for Richie. No wonder Evan turns greedy and jealous.

Mitch, Frank and Beanie are disillusioned with their personal lives beginning when Mitch's nymphomaniac girlfriend, Heidi, cheats on him, then former party animal Frank gets married, but unwilling to let go of his wild life, and Beanie is a family man seeking to reclaim his wild and crazy youth. Beanie suggests that they form their own fraternity in Mitch's new house on a college campus to re-live their glory days by bringing together a variety of misfit college students, losers, middle-aged and elderly retirees as their new friends and later try to avoid being evicted by the new Dean of Students, Pritchard, whom still holds a personal grudge against all three of them.

Sex addict and colonial theme park worker, Victor Mancini, has devised a complicated scam to pay for his mom's hospital bills while she suffers from an Alzheimer's disease that hides the truth about his childhood. He pretends to choke on food in a restaurant and the person who "saves" him will feel responsible for Victor for the rest of their lives.