Homeless veteran Bob 'Drillbit' Taylor manages to enjoy life anyhow and even saves some cash for his dream, an 'all-paid' move to Alaska, even if that may take many years. His dream comes within reach when clever nerd Wade, has fat friend Ryan 'T-dog' and cocky shrimp Jim, all new to high-school, are bullied so badly by emancipated Filkins and his buddies that they advertise for a bodyguard. Only Drillbit seems affordable and not crazy, so he's hired and drains their pocket-money and home content. He's clueless how to protect them but gives them (bogus) self-defense classes.

Gary, an overzealous high school janitor (Seann William Scott), who has not recovered from his failed career as a tennis pro, begins coaching his beloved sport to a group of misfits after the high school tennis coach (Randy Quaid) drops dead. With his unorthodox coaching style, Gary must try and lead them to the Nebraska State Championships.

John Lyshitski, a young man who has been in prison more often than he has not over the entire course of his life, has just been released from what was his third prison sentence. In all three cases, he was sentenced by Judge Nelson Biederman III. As such, John makes it his mission to destroy the judge's life. Unable to do so, John does the next best thing: destroy the life of the judge's privileged thirty year old son, Nelson Biederman IV. In that new mission, John ends up not having to do anything as certain people are out to get Nelson IV, who in the process receives a 3 to 5 year prison sentence. Nelson IV's incarceration should be enough for John, who knows that someone like Nelson IV, ill-equipped mentally for a life behind bars, is easy prey to get beaten, raped and/or killed in prison. But John wants to witness and be at least a small part in Nelson IV's suffering. John's plan is to get busted, charged, and convicted for some crime, and end up in the same prison as Nelson IV's cellmate. John will pretend to be Nelson IV's friend, while truly subverting him at every step along the way to make his life even more miserable than it is by bribing those on the inside including fellow prisoners and guards. Much of what happens goes according to John's plans, but other factors may make his torture of Nelson IV more difficult than anticipated.

Top London cop PC Nicholas Angel is good. Too good. To stop the rest of his team looking bad, he is reassigned to the quiet town of Sandford. He is paired with Danny Butterman, who endlessly questions him on the action lifestyle. Everything seems quiet for Angel until two actors are found decapitated. It is called an accident, but Angel won't accept that, especially when more and more people turn up dead. Angel and Danny clash with everyone while they try to uncover the truth behind the mystery of the apparent "accidents".

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