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Picture of a movie: The Princess Bride
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The Princess Bride
1987
An elderly man reads the book "The Princess Bride" to his sick and thus currently bedridden adolescent grandson, the reading of the book which has been passed down within the family for generations. The grandson is sure he won't like the story, with a romance at its core, he prefers something with lots of action and "no kissing", but he lets grandfather continue, because he doesn't want to hurt his feelings. The story centers on Buttercup, a former farm girl who has been chosen as the princess bride to Prince Humperdinck of Florian. Buttercup does not love him, she who still laments the death of her one true love, Westley, five years ago. Westley was a hired hand on the farm, his stock answer of "as you wish" to any request she made of him which she came to understand was his way of saying that he loved her. But Westley went away to sea, only to be killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts. On a horse ride to clear her mind of her upcoming predicament of marriage, Buttercup is kidnapped by a band of bandits: Vizzini who works on his wits, and his two associates, a giant named Fezzik who works on his brawn, and a Spaniard named Inigo Montoya, who has trained himself his entire life to be an expert swordsman. They in turn are chased by the Dread Pirate Roberts himself. But chasing them all is the Prince, and his men led by Count Tyrone Rugen. What happens to these collectives is dependent partly on Buttercup, who does not want to marry the Prince, and may see other options as lesser evils, and partly on the other motives of individuals within the groups. But a larger question is what the grandson will think of the story as it proceeds and at its end, especially as he sees justice as high a priority as action.
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Picture of a book: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
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Books
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Roald Dahl
Tonight I just finished reading Charlie and the Chocolate factory with my son. This is the first chapter book I've read all the way through with him. And it was a ton of fun. First off, I'll admit that I love the movie. I grew up with it. (I'm talking about the Gene Wilder version, of course.)I'll even admit to liking the movie better than the book. Which is something that doesn't happen very often with me. That said, the book is really, really good. It held my four-year old's attention. It's silly, and it's fun. And it's DARK. For those of you who haven't read the book, let me underline this fact for you. Dahl takes pains to really detail the fact that Charlie and his family aren't just hungry and poor. They're destitute. Charlie sleeps on a mattress on the floor. In the winter they are cold, and they're starving to death. And if you think I'm exaggerating on that last point, I'm not. One of the chapters is titled: The Family Begins to Starve. But you know what? I like this book better because of that. It's not sanitized pablum written by committee to be inoffensive. It's the story of a little boy who is in a fucking awful situation, but he is still good and kind and polite and then something really nice happens to him. That's a trope I can get behind. Its it a good book to read with your kids? Absolutely. That said, allow me to tangent off and share my thoughts as a total bastard:If Willie Wonka actually hired workers and paid them a living wage, maybe Charlie Bucket wouldn't be starving to death in the first place. Follow me here. Wonka is effectively running a company where everyone is paid in scrip. The Oompa Loompas are paid, quite literally, in beans. Beans that I'm guessing he has the Oompa Loompas themselves growing in some huge underground cavern. Let's not even get into the ethical tarpit of the fact that Wonka uproots an entire indigenous culture and enslaves them. Let's just look at this from a raw numbers point of view. Pure economics. The Oompa Loompas work in the factory. They are not paid. They never leave the factory. That means they don't pay rent. They don't buy groceries. They don't go to the movies, or take taxis ,or buy clothes. But *everyone* buys Wonka's chocolate. That means that money goes into the factory, but it doesn't come back out into the town. As a result, the local economy is crap. And it's because of this that Charlie's dad can't get a decent job. What's more, it's because of this that his dad *loses* his shitty job, and his family is starving to death. Willie Wonka isn't a childlike magic maker. He's a billionaire corporate fuckwit. He's the candy equivalent of Monsanto. There's no government oversight there. Osha would never have approved that bullshit boiled sweet boat and chocolate river. No. Dude is untouchable. And don't tell me he isn't. That shit that goes on with the other kids? Nobody even *thinks* of suing him. None of the parents even *hint* at it. He probably owns half the judges in the state, and a handful of senators, too. He's a fucking supervillian. And I would paid serious money to see a story where Batman kicks his ass. *End Rant* In closing, let me share something that Oot said while I was reading him this book: "Dad, Willie Wonka is just a regular human, but he *is* a little bit of a wizard like you."
Picture of a book: The Twits
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Books
The Twits
Roald Dahl
I feel full of the joys of spring! This was such a delightful little book. My morbid, inner kid couldn't have been more ecstatic! Should I call someone a twit or a nitwit? I guess, no. That would be very rude of me! My doppelgänger would approve otherwise. And since I'm not like my sinister doppelgänger, I would leave all the sheer nastiness to him along with Mr. and Mrs. Twit, who are also quite repulsive, if you ask me. I'd rather have pleasant thoughts rather than wicked ones.\ "If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."\ Now, where do I begin? Ah yes! Let's start with Mr. and Mrs. Twit. Well, I assure you, that both of them are a little bit, say, a few sandwiches short of a picnic or if you prefer something blunter, they're not one of the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree. Mr. Twit is a very bushy, nailbrushy-faced, grizzly old man who doesn't bother with his appearance.I can't for the life of me understand why he'd rather bury himself in that grubby face of his. And please ladies and gentlemen, I implore you not to peer into that dreadful crevasse of moustachy bristles filled with mouldy and magotty morsels!Mrs. Twit is just like Mr. Twit, but she's no better than him. She's as foul as his malodorous husband with a walking stick and a glass eye!They are one of the most hideous characters who'd exact revenge upon each other, given a chance.\ "I'll swish you to a swazzle! I'll swash you to a swizzle! I'll gnash you to a gnozzle! I'll gnosh you to a gnazzle!"\ And if that wasn't enough for vengeance, there's this Giant Skillywiggler with teeth like screwdrivers, eat-me-up-while-its-hot Squiggly Spaghetti, the dreadful shrink, some Hugtight extraordinary glue for extra staying power — perfect for your Wednesday's Bird Pie supper! Or even Boy Pie supper for that matter, if you want to satiate your cannibalistic tendencies.\ "He's going to boil us!""He'll stew us alive!" "He'll cook us with carrots!"\ Oh, what a fun way to bake some spoiled children! Errr... I beg your pardon, but that was my doppelgänger talking. I have to restrain him once more. Now, on to the Twit's garden, we go! This two nasty couple keep Muggle-Wump and his family locked in a protective cage. This poor family are coerced to perform upside-down tricks for the Twit's amusement, including eating, dancing, playing, drinking, and all the jazz! What the Twits don't realize is that Muggle-Wump along with the Roly-Poly Bird is crafting a brilliant plan to get rid of them once and for all...The Twits was truly an imaginative yet horrid tale filled with peculiar characters, unbridled wickedness, misanthropic undertones, playful wit, and clever word play — all done with cheeky humour! It seems that Dahl himself has a certain kind of aversion when it comes to unkempt appearance. Is Dahl implying that Mr. Twit needs some kind of manscaping or he isn't just fond of all that hairy mess? If you analyse further, he seems to be also discriminatory. Just look at Mrs. Twit's glass eye, which in reality you might call lazy eye or amblyopia. A case of lookism? The way he narrates this one too: "But these were English birds and they couldn’t understand the weird African language the monkeys spoke." A case of racism? As whimsical as this story might seem, there are bullying, toxic relationships, bias against idiots (thus the title), and revenge (is a dish best served cold). Well, that's only my hypotheses. Despite all that speculation, if you dig further and deeper, you'll find a hidden gem. And that is... the Golden Rule — a maxim we all know by heart and might be the heart of the story too!
Picture of a book: Because of Winn-Dixie
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Books
Because of Winn-Dixie
Kate DiCamillo
Kate DiCamillo's beloved, best-selling debut novel is now available in a paperback digest edition.Kate DiCamillo's first published novel, like Winn-Dixie himself, immediately proved to be a keeper—a New York Times bestseller, a Newbery Honor winner, the inspiration for a popular film, and most especially, a cherished classic that touches the hearts of readers of all ages. It's now available in a paperback digest format certain to bring this tale's magic to an even wider circle of fans.The summer Opal and her father, the preacher, move to Naomi, Florida, Opal goes into the Winn-Dixie supermarket—and comes out with a dog. A big, ugly, suffering dog with a sterling sense of humor. A dog she dubs Winn-Dixie. Because of Winn-Dixie, the preacher tells Opal ten things about her absent mother, one for each year Opal has been alive. Winn-Dixie is better at making friends than anyone Opal has ever known, and together they meet the local librarian, Miss Franny Block, who once fought off a bear with a copy of WAR AND PEACE. They meet Gloria Dump, who is nearly blind but sees with her heart, and Otis, an ex-con who sets the animals in his pet shop loose after hours, then lulls them with his guitar.Opal spends all that sweet summer collecting stories about her new friends and thinking about her mother. But because of Winn-Dixie or perhaps because she has grown, Opal learns to let go, just a little, and that friendship—and forgiveness—can sneak up on you like a sudden summer storm.
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