Books like Pinocchio, Vampire Slayer Volume One

One of the best things about my job is when my boss wants me to read and write a review about a certain book that I never intended to read but thoroughly enjoyed. (Let me tell you, I have read some stiiiiiinkers!!) Anyways, I was minding my own business, surfing the web and reading anything besides the stack of papers and documents sitting next to me, when my boss ambled over and set PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER on my keyboard. (He has a problem with subtly.) I looked up from the screen and broke my intense concentration of reading about Josh Beckett’s (GO RED SOX!!) latest introduction of baseball to temple and gazed at the cover of the graphic novel. Now my first thought was: “What the heck is this?” We have all seen the Pride and Prejudice mash-up—come to think of it, any classic you can think of has some zombie or vampire or monster or android or whatever thrown into the story these days—and I wasn’t too sure why he was giving this to me.“Will you read this?” he said. “My daughter wants to read this and I want to make sure it’s appropriate for her.” (His daughter is eight…I will reserve any judgment. You decide.)“Sure. When do you want a review?” I asked. “Can you have it to me in an hour or so?” he asked. SIDE NOTE: When I become the boss of some place, I will NEVER NEVER NEVER do this type of BS to any of my employees. I smiled. “You bet.” (Under my breath I said some other things.)So, I opened the book and read the very amusing introduction and explanation of why this story came to be and the hilarious apology the creators (Van Jensen and Dusty Higgins) implored to the ghost of Carlo Collodi, the original genius behind the story of Pinocchio. Instantly I knew this was going to be fun. The story takes up where the original ended. But little does the tiny hamlet of Nasolungo know, vampires haunt their streets. Enter the first vampire. He seeks prey, but not adults, only children. When he thinks he has found a victim, he is surprised to find not a “real” boy but Pinocchio dressed in peasant garb. When the vampire says, in disgust, that Pinocchio is not a real boy, Pinocchio replies, “But I am,” well, we all know what happens when Pinocchio lies—his nose grows. But it is no ordinary nose. No, it has become a deadly vampiric weapon, namely a stake. Pinocchio breaks off his nose and plunges it into the vampire’s heart, thus ending the life of this nefarious creature. Okay, so I was laughing so hard during this time that one of the patrons using our computers asked me to be quiet. (Where did everyone’s humor go?) I read on…So here’s the deal: Pinocchio’s father was actually killed by vampires and he is enacting his revenge. Jiminy Cricket is back…as a ghost. They try to warn the town; no one listens. Pinocchio and his gang of vampire slayers capture a vampire but it is killed before it can talk. (There is something about blood tasting sweet during this time.) Without giving too many details (I hate sanctioning my review to the realm of spoilerdom), let me say this novel is a romp that is equal to all before it, and will be able to stand next to the ones still to come. The one-liners alone make this a fun read. (Oh, I forgot to mention…sequels!!!) Best Lines: “I’m Pinocchio…and I kill monsters.” “I am the walrus…See how they run.”VERY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED (But not for eight year old girls.)