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Books like Espedair Street

Espedair Street

1990, Iain Banks

4.5/5

“Everything seems to take about the right amount of time at the time, but later...Jeez, where did it all go? You look back, and sometimes you think, Did I really do all that? And other times you think. Is that all there is? Is that all I managed to get done? We are never satisfied. Don’t even know the meaning of the word.”Daniel Wier has a story to tell. A story of his search for satisfaction. A writer of songs, a bass player and a man who nearly loses his way as a member of the successful band, Frozen Gold. Despite, or due to his tendencies towards self doubt and pessimism, he knows how to make music. He surprises himself once the words that previously existed only in his head go live particularly with Christine singing his words. His music takes the band and fans to places of ecstasy and abandonment. On his journey he is saddled with the hefty baggage of Catholic guilt, an absent father in prison, childhood trauma, and what he describes as a less than pleasing countenance. Is he confused? He is. Better confused than bored, miserable and serious. His confusion teaches him to think for himself which at times is in conflict with acting the rock star. He feels he has a duty to his public. He must act the part. In these moments he can almost convince himself that nothing is really all that important, so why not party. These irresponsible moments are the most comic. But, just when you think you know this character he upends the chaos and reveals his other sides. He is gentle, humble, longing for closeness and genuinely caring for and about others. Rarely self absorbed or self righteous he strives for a balance amidst the decadence. In his most self reflective moments he reminds us that life is a dance and if you aren’t dancing but holding fast to rigid frameworks you might consider allowing the tide of music to sweep you away. There is immense loss in his story. These losses are so vast they nearly take him along. Fortunate enough to see another sunrise he acts on his final decision of the story. A decision so important it’s as if he knew all along he would arrive exactly where he does.This is an altogether gratifying story which offers insight into survival - how to survive the random and unexpected events life throws at us. Daniel finds his strength and satisfaction through surviving and this is what makes him a real star.

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