Books like Emotional Literacy: Intelligence with a Heart

At the risk of sounding redundant , I really , really liked this book . Though I couldn't agree with several of his points , I found the 15 emotionally literate transactions captivating . That may sound like an aggrandized statement , but what I found captivating is that those principles are what I long for in relationships . I more often than not feel people prefer a safe shallow relationship and I'm always searching for something deeper . I'm not referring to romantic relationships exclusively , in general that's how I would prefer to operate . It was captivating to read a book about a person who has spent his life in pursuit of the very same thing :)Recommended to people having relationship troubles , it's not your common everyday communication book nor is it a relationship repair book . Just basic points of genuine human needs . Greatly enjoyed the read :)The book Review I did for class :Claude Steiner’s Emotional Literacy: Intelligence with a heart. This is a self-help book on what it means to be emotionally literate and how to become so. Copy write 2003, ISBN 1-932181-02-4. The author’s purpose in writing this book is his wish to share with others his belief that emotional literacy is a source of personal power indispensable for success in today’s world. Due to Steiner’s personal history with the subject, his education in scientific training and from his professional experiences, he speaks with authority on the topic of emotional literacy. The subject is not a foreign concept to Steiner, but deeply personal, as he grew up completely emotionally illiterate. Steiner has been highly influenced by a psychiatrist named Eric Berne who developed Transactional Analysis.The author’s theme is; the benefits of learning how to be emotionally literate.The author’s thesis is; emotional literacy can be learned through the practice of specific transactional exercises that target the awareness of emotion in ourselves and others, the capacities to love others and ourselves while developing honesty and the ability to take responsibility for our actions. In support of his thesis, Steiner’s method of development is description through narration. His narration usually takes the form of scripted storytelling, showing the reader how different conversations could play out and why. Steiner also implements series of exposition, usually presenting case studies or collected data, backing his reasoning. Anything from couples he’s counseled to the latest scientific research on what can be considered a primary and second emotion. I agree with the author’s opinion that people’s actions do indeed cause emotions in us contrary to popular belief. Also as an extension of that, forgiveness is a process and it is far better to gently decline an apology if you’re not ready to accept it. Steiner took a rarely seen approach to honesty in relationships. Steiner believes complete honesty is vital to relationship because even the most minor discrepancy often causes extreme emotional turmoil to the other party down the road, especially if they found out the truth from someone other than their partner. I personally agree with the complete honesty policy, but I could see the other side of the coin if you’re in a relationship with a more sensitive person. This was a second edition, but most of the information was taken from the late 80’s still quite a bit out of date in relation to psychological developments. I think the basic concepts Steiner teaches in his classic story, the warm fuzzies and cold pricklies, remains the same. However, the American and European population has clearly become even more emotionally illiterate. The book fails to give any suggestions to someone in the situation where they are the only member interested in taking on the fifteen emotional transactions, stating that this program is best done in a group of cooperative and supportive group. The authors main topics were; emotional awareness, training to be emotionally literate, opening the heart , surveying the emotional landscape, the mistakes we make and why we make them and taking responsibility. Emotional awareness, discussed in chapter 2, can be pictured by a scale. At the bottom of the scale is zero awareness, a dangerous place to be. At the top of the scale, is of course 100 percent awareness, something few achieve. In between those two are ranges, anything from numbness to physical sensations, empathy to interactivity. Hear Steiner points out that our thoughts can trigger our emotions but cannot seem to shut them off, which is why it is important to have the knowledge and skills to move up the scale. That is where the training to be emotionally literate comes into play. Steiner covers these in small steps; opening the heart, surveying the emotional landscape, the mistakes we make and why we make them and taking responsibility. Taking responsibility for our mistakes is important if we want to receive forgiveness from others for the injuries our mistakes may cause. Steiner is quick to point out that sometimes the hurt is so deep that the other person will choose to never forgive. We also learn from our mistakes so it is vital to be aware of them and seek opportunity in the future to correct them. Emotional literacy is an important aspect to being a mature well rounded person, at least equal to that of your Intelligence Quotient. I think Steiner proved his thesis; emotional literacy can be learned through the practice of specific transactional exercises that target the awareness of emotion in ourselves and others, the capacities to love others and ourselves while developing honesty and the ability to take responsibility for our actions.