Joellyn—as judgmental as she is insecure—tells her unborn daughter the story of her courtship with an unemployed, terribly-dressed man named Zachary. The novella is a romantic comedy—if romantic comedies were dark and screwed up and no one got exactly what they wanted.

If You're Not Yet Like Me

Others have wondered whether I am a sort of prototype for Zachary Haas. Let me end the speculation now -- I am not. It's true that I had poor personal style in my 20s, and it is also true that there was a time in my life, yes, when I enjoyed the occasional personal pizza. But never, never would I have been so blithely oblivious or confident enough on a first date as to order a salad with raw onions. I wish I had balls like that.]

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If You're Not Yet Like Me

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