books

Adult Fiction
Contemporary
The United States Of America

Books like Checkpoint

Checkpoint

2005Nicholson Baker

2.9/5

ME: Hello?SANE, WELL-MEANING FRIEND: So what's up?ME: I'm reviewing Checkpoint.SWF: Uh-oh.ME: He's right. I'd like to shoot W too.SWF: Isn't it a little late...ME: Right between the eyes. No, that would be too quick. I'd like him to bleed to death slowly, and know what was going to happen. I'd...SWF: Uh, Manny, you know Internet content is monitored these days.ME: I don't care. I said I'd like to...SWF: Hello! Content monitors! Manny doesn't really want to shoot former President Bush, he's just parodying Nicholson Baker's book!ME: I SAID I DON'T CARE. I'M SERIOUS. I'D BE HAPPY TO PICK UP A GUN THIS MINUTE AND...SWF: Jesus Christ, keep your voice down will you? At least, don't use all those capital letters. And you've never fired a gun in your life. You barely know which end the bullets come out of.ME: Okay, okay. In fact, shooting him's not what I want to do. I'd rather have him taken to Abu Ghraib, stripped naked, covered in menstrual blood, then...SWF: Look. Whatever you say about W, at least he kept the US safe from terrorists?ME: Yeah right. With the small exception of 9/11. Which was carried out by Saudis, a country he has intimate ties to. I just can't believe people fell for that. Imagine how everyone would see it if a similar attack happened tomorrow, nearly all the terrorists turned out to be Kenyans, and Obama had told the CIA to ignore the intelligence chatter because it wasn't...SWF: Look, be reasonable. You aren't seriously saying that W wanted to...ME: I am. I think he just hates the US. He's done everything he can ruin this country. He's got us into the craziest and most expensive war in our history, he's trashed the economy with his insane policies, he's done his level best to destroy the Constitution. I don't understand why he did it though. Is he a Chinese agent? Maybe they're blackmailing him? Or more likely it's just resentment, because...SWF: This is all crazy talk. Calm down. You know you don't mean any of it.ME: Actually, it's not just the US. He hates the whole world. He intentionally blocked action on global warming for 8 years. We've now got maybe a 50% chance of stopping it before we reach the tipping point where the whole climate collapses, and civilization becomes impossible. That wouldn't make sense if he was a Chinese agent. In fact, I think he's probably the Anti-Christ. That false, sanctimonious...SWF: Manny, you're raving. We'd better stop now. You go review some Proust, right? That usually calms you down. And take a couple of these.ME: Mhm!SWF: It's okay everyone. Manny's feeling better. He's finished with this review. ME: READ BAKER'S BOOK! READ BAKER'S BOOK! READ... OW!SWF: Nothing to see here folks. We're just leaving. No, he's fine. Thank you. Bye now...

Filter by:

Cross-category suggestions

Filter by:

Filter by:

Filter by:

Filter by:

Filter by:

Filter by:

Filter by: