Books like An Equal Music

‘An Equal Music’ is indeed a musical story. The language is immensely beautiful. Throughout the book, one sees how much time human beings spend tuning ‘things’ so that they can live in harmony. In this story, the characters struggle with notes, compositions, and life. Both music and life demand the same things, it is only in certain moments the right notes of joy, bliss, and happiness are struck. The central character in the story, not only in the practice sessions but in real life too, searches for ‘an equal music.’While Seth dedicates the book – through a beautifully worded poem– to his intimate friend Philippe Honore. In addition to this, the book opens with the following luminous lines of John Donne.“And into that gate they shall enter, and in that house they shall dwell, where there shall be no cloud, nor sun, no darkness nor dazzling, but one equal light, no noise nor silence, but one equal music, no fears nor hopes, but one equal possession, no foes nor friends, but one equal communion and identity, no ends nor beginnings, but one equal eternity.”These lines, in some very significant ways, clarify Us to ourselves. All of us, knowingly or unknowingly, strive to attain that space of ‘one equal eternity.’ For some, such quests are even more daunting. The story of Michael, at least in the beginning, reads like the story of a homosexual man. In the first thirty pages, he is seen playing, practicing music, talking to friends, but his real love– Julia– appears much later. He sees her through his window seat. With his current girlfriend, Michael is hardly at ease; and the one he truly loves is nowhere in sight. So what he really has is himself: his walks, his music, his books, his thoughts, these are the things that actually sustain him. In a way, this acute loneliness and search for ‘balance’ run throughout the novel. There are small instances in the book that mirrors ‘experiences’ central to gay lives. For instance, once while walking, Michael feels that someone is walking behind him. He describes it thus; “the anonymous person seemed to have made up his mind and walked with renewed energy and overtook Michael– indicating lack of interest.” In yet another instance, Michael talks randomly with a man on one ‘wintry’ evening. The whole scene reads as if he were cruising. One man is seen taking a dip in icy water, the other, being lonely, wandering for no particular reason. Both searching for ‘something.’Anybody who likes western classical music would love reading this book. Even though I am not particularly familiar with it, I loved how seamlessly the story is entwined with the language of music.However, the quest for home and love is eternal. One can live ‘bliss’ in moments, one can glimpse it many times, but one cannot inhabit it fully and forever. This quest is more difficult when the world around is hostile. A world that still tries to stifle certain ‘kinds of love.’ In such a hostile setting, the search for the ‘unspeakable love’ is exhausting. The book ends on a hopeful note, justifying the title and the story. There is no reason to despair.“Music, such music is a sufficient gift. Why ask for happiness; why hope not to grieve? It is enough, it is to be blessed enough, to live from day to day and to hear such music– not too much, or the soul could not sustain it– from time to time.”